I heard a good tip the other day to spice up your love life.
It was “Go out together, but pretend that your lover is a stranger.” Interesting, I thought.
So we’re in the pub together, I asked her for the time, downed my pint and went out with my mates instead.
A list of random memories from the Isle of Wight.
Still packing my bag at midnight
Lasagne the night before
Red Jet ferry
Slowest bus journey over 4 miles ever
Pitching the tent slower than the girls
Listening to some lads sing “If you’ve got a foreskin; clap your hands”
Carnage in Morrison’s.
Buying premium lager, instead of “Better buys”
Clean toilets
FALAFEL!
Dancing like nutters in the Barcardi tent
Chick pea curry
Playing “Wally” (or shithead) ….
Enjoying Mel-C
Alcohol rub
Aching back
Aching feet
Baby wipes
Watching a bloke pissing in a cup
Girl with one lense missing in her glasses
Cup of piss kicked over on to a friends foot, causing some drama
Massive long snake of Carling cups
The “Extreme ride”
The fattest shit ever waiting for me in a toliet
Wobbly loos
Sunburned feet
I’ll add more later
more..
Shoot 5
Fat girls up the path, looked like Beth Ditto
Naked man on guitar
Shit on a box on pathway
BBQ for lunch, but no cooking equipment
Jill stealing the milk
Jonah’s black feet
Jonah stealing the chili sauce
Pikeys camping round the corner. Just there to steal mobiles (probably)
Trampled tents
£35 for a crate of Carling…. nice work spending £105 mate
Red wine before bed to help us sleep
Coco pops
Zimmer frame
The Poo train had “Poo 2 Get” as number plate
Shower queues
[All mixed tense, doesn't read well, but this all happened Friday night]
I’m a dick, I drove the wrong way
So I’m off to a gig tonight and I got 40 minutes to get to Bristol from Swindon. Perfect. I’ve got directions over the phone. Brilliant, I can’t go wrong. Get on at J16 off at J19 of the M4. Easy, right?
So I get down to the motorway, and the motorway is nice and empty. Making great time and thinking that I will be able to mingle before the gig starts.
Then I realise I just gone past Juntion 15! I’ve gone the wrong direction when I got on the motorway. What a dick.
Gig
So, I get to the gig, which is at Filton College. After going in the stage doors, I’m directed to the real entrance and stand up on the balcony. Good little gig.
It was a big mix of covers and a few original instrumental pieces. College kids are well young. Was I ever that fresh faced and fashion consious? In college, I think it was all shirts and well polished loafers. No-one looked like a tribute to Dexy or the Ramones when I was 17.
A friend was playing there, so if he reads this, good job!
Shit Movie
After the gig we had a few drinks at another friend’s house and watched whatever was on the tele.
It was film called Sleepstalker. It was well shit. Had every possible horror movie cliche ever, but still we stayed up until 2 o’clock watching it, and then didn’t bother seeing the end. What a waste of time.
Anyway, got to see M & A’s new house, really nice old terrace in Bristol. Nice work, and good luck with the plaster
And, yeah, I like Will Young, so what.