The hypertext online internet web log of Chris

Here are some more social rules to make life run smoothly for everyone.

When you are walking around in crowded places, do not feel obliged to stick to logical routes. It is not necessary to keep to the left. You are free to walk anywhere you like. You are also encouraged to take sharp turns at speed across the flow of people. It is in their interest to make room for you. Do not, under any circumstances feel as if you are in the wrong. This activity is enhanced if you have a push-chair or pram.

Also, you do not need to be concerned with stopping suddenly either. If you have forgotten something (usually a birthday card or something in Boots) then stop immediately in your tracks. Take two to three seconds to re-plan your route before continuing. Please do not be concerned with anyone behind you. They are more than capable of avoiding you. Any “tuts” or comments should be ignored.

The best time of the week to go food shopping is on a Saturday morning. It is the most popular time with the most people. Therefore, you are safe in the knowledge that the store is running at 100% efficiency and the food will be as fresh as possible.

When pushing your trolley around the store, do not feel any obligation to keep control of it or to leave enough room for people to walk around it. The aisles are very spacious. If someone is walking too close in front of you, it is a well known fact that it will be their fault should you smash into their heels.

To help you think more easily and concentrate more deeply you should make as many nonsensical noises as possible. If people in your presence frown or become annoyed, it is probably for some other unknown reason. This technique can be used whilst playing cards or a board game.

Part one can be found:
http://www.lunamonkey.co.uk/blog/index.php/2008/10/29/social-rules/