The problem with fancy dress parties…

… is that I hate them.

I really, really hate dressing up in any way. I don’t like pretending I’m someone else, or even appearing to look a little bit like someone else. I have never, ever deliberately dressed to impress. I hate wearing things that are obviously trendy. I rarely wear anything considered  a suit, although they look great, they just aren’t comfortable enough to sit about in. I’m also worried about ruining it the whole time.

I hate spending more money than is required to celebrate an event. How can I show you that I mean it when I say “Happy Birthday”…. should I dress up as someone else? Spend £30 on a costume? Yep, that one.

I hate trying to think of a costume that is different enough for people not to think of, and also good enough for people to recognise. I hate it.

I hate hired costumes. There’s usually a “Best Outfit”  contest at parties. Last one I went to, the winner was someone in a hired Jim Carrey “Mask” costume. That’s cheating! No thought, no effort, just hire the whole thing.

At the same party, I decided to go as “an idiot”. I wore terrible clothes, some terrible glasses , a terrible woolly hat.  The hat was red and white. For this single item, I had people coming up and saying, “Oh nice! Where’s Wally!” It wasn’t a Where’s Wally outfit! The only bit that even resembled it was the hat.

Was it that easy to get away with a bad costume? Do you only ever really need one prop and the whole outfit is a success?

I have also been to a 1970′s fancy dress party. I decided to wear typical 1970′s clothes. As in, real vintage clothes that people actually wore, and not some pretend “groovy” outfit. When I got there, everyone was wearing “Disco” clothes. They were all in afro wigs and funky dresses and stuff. I should have just gone down the lazy route.

I’m going to a fancy dress party tonight. It’s an old friend from when I was a kid. As much as I want to celebrate his birthday, I have really dreaded the build up of the whole process.

Here’s some embarrassing pictures of my previous attempts…

I might update this with a picture later of tonight’s outfit. Then again, why would I?

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2 Responses to The problem with fancy dress parties…

  1. Ian Lloyd says:

    I tell what I hate?

    When a party is billed as fancy dress yet no-one else bothers to do the fancy dress bit. And when I turn up as ‘James Bond baddie generic henchman’, wearing a boiler suit, boots, a hard-hat, safety glasses, a specially made ID card for the SPECTRE organisation and carriyng a gun that I bought from Toys R Us, sprayed black over several days and made a strap for …. I stick out LIKE A SORE FUCKING THUMB!

    Yes, that’s what I hate.

  2. Chris says:

    You looked ace. We looked lazy in our “Generic non-Bond” suits. Bond has only worn a black-tie suit for about 5 minutes of screen-time per film. Weird that the look of Bond being in a suit has stuck. I guess the DVD/VHS cover sticks in the mind more than the movie.